


undress me (and put me to bed)

by orphan_account



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-31
Updated: 2016-12-31
Packaged: 2018-09-13 14:01:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9126895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Dirk is standing right there, in his kitchen, bare arse on display in the filthy backless hospital gown he wears. He turns around, and flashes that sunshine smile of his."Hi! I made soup!"-Todd is a little disconcerted when a supposedly missing Dirk shows up at his apartment in the middle of the night.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Раздень меня и уложи спать // undress me (and put me to bed)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11826822) by [minty_mix](https://archiveofourown.org/users/minty_mix/pseuds/minty_mix)



It’s 2:13am on a Tuesday morning when Todd awakes to the quiet humming of the stove in his flat. He should be more concerned about this, Todd thinks as he blearily rises and stumbles to the kitchen in the dark.

Since the disappearance of everyone he had any form of contact with, Todd has been pretty much alone. He calls Amanda, sometimes, when he can, and when she’ll speak to him. But other than that and the hollow, scripted conversations with people at his new call center job, Todd has become accustomed to the quiet. It’s not like he hasn’t tried looking for Dirk, and Farah, and Amanda. It’s just that- Well, it’s not like the CIA or whoever are making it easy. And travelling across the country isn’t cheap. So he gets a shitty job, that pays minimum wage and nothing more, and saves to go on the Save-Dirk-Gently road trip he’s never dreamed of.

Except now he doesn’t have to. Because Dirk is standing right there, in his kitchen, bare arse on display in the filthy backless hospital gown he wears. Todd figures he makes some kind of choking noise, because Dirk turns around, and flashes that sunshine smile of his, though it is dimmed somewhat by the blood matting his hair and the dirt marring his skin. The smile still stirs something akin to fondness in Todd’s stomach nonetheless.

“Hi! I made soup!”

Todd nods, slow and apparently understanding, before turning and vomiting the contents of his stomach into the sink behind him.

Maybe not just fondness, then.

“Oh dear. Are you not a soup fan? I sort of assumed you would be, Todd, since it’s relatively easy and fairly flexible-“ Dirk chirps nonsense comfort to him as he rubs Todd’s back, apparently unconcerned by the sick and the odd greyish tint his assistant’s skin has taken on.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Todd manages to choke out, eyes wide. “Why are you- You’re bleeding! Where have you been, you absolute bastard-“

Dirk, to his credit, tries to school his features into an expression of regret, though the glimmer of affection that’s always in his eyes when Todd’s around ruins the effect a little. “I- Well, the boy-agent – Friedkin – took me, and I was in a nasty, nasty little place for a time. They did call it debriefing, but I suspect that was more to do with the removal of my underwear and other human clothes than any closure,” he explains with aloofness that doesn’t reach his eyes. “But that’s not important; now I’m here. And your soup is done, if you still want it.”

Todd blinks. “It’s two o’clock in the morning, Dirk. Why would I want soup?” He asks in disbelief. It takes several seconds for him to realise that Dirk has, in fact, just escaped from a “nasty place” where he assumes food was not a regular occurrence. Something inside him aches at the thought. “Here, you have mine. I- Fuck. You’re a mess, Dirk...”

“Yes, well.” The detective gives him an affronted look, but does take the soup, looking around for a spoon to eat with. Todd hands him one from a drawer, hesitating momentarily before taking his elbow and gently forcing the other man to sit on the sofa, bringing over the bowls of soup after Dirk is settled.

“Just eat up. We can talk about it later. Can- Your head is bleeding, can I see?” Dirk nods, and Todd stands to examine it from behind. It turns out that his head is undamaged, and the blood has come from Dirk’s hands, which are grazed and cut from God knows what. Todd sighs, both in relief and confusion. “You must be exhausted, Dirk. I’m guessing you’ve not had much sleep at the, uh, nasty place?”

Dirk shakes his head. He’s finished all but two spoonfuls of soup by now. “Hard to, really, when they prodded me awake at every hint of sleep. Just a little experiment, apparently,” he gives a twisted smile, and Todd has to stop himself from visibly wincing.

“Okay. Well, you can take my bed, yeah? I’ll stay on the couch, and promise not to poke you when you fall asleep,” Todd tries a grin, which Dirk returns a little distractedly.

“I appreciate the sentiment, Todd, but I fear sleep will not be, ah… welcoming. Nothing to worry about, just a few nightmares here and there, but I think I’d rather avoid the Sandman if at all possible.” Dirk is fiddling with the torn hem of his hospital gown now. It just grazes his lower thigh, when he’s sitting, and Todd is a little distressed by how much his gaze is drawn to his friend’s lower body. Specific areas of the lower body. He sighs.

“You can’t avoid sleep forever, Dirk. You’ll die.”

Dirk scoffs. “Shan’t. I refuse to die. Not in this get-up, anyway.”

Todd can’t resist a small laugh. “Yeah, alright. I get the hint. I’ll grab you some sweats and a tee-shirt, but then you really need to try and get some sleep. I-“ he pauses. This is a risk, he knows, and it could put his burgeoning attraction to Dirk at risk of being revealed. But he also doesn’t want his friend to die from lack of sleep, and knows what he must do. “Would it help if I stayed with you? While you sleep? So you know where you are when- if nightmares wake you?”

Looking up at him with saucer-like eyes, Dirk pauses, then nods. “It- Yes. I would be… satisfied with that course of action.” He seems to gather himself before nodding once more, and standing. “Come on then, Todd! Undress me and put me to bed.”

Internally, Todd thinks Dirk knows the implications, much as he did when yelling at Todd to ‘push my bum, make me go up’ – he thinks Dirk enjoys making him squirm. Externally, though, Todd can’t help but blush a deep red, and shoos the other man to the bedroom, missing Dirk’s sly smile as he does so.

“Alright, then. But don’t expect this every time you turn up in my kitchen at 2am, Dirk. Next time, you have to undress yourself,” Todd muttered under his breath, but deep down, he really hopes that won’t be the case.

**Author's Note:**

> I know that there is probably a lack of clarity about the timing of this fic and whatnot, but I really kind of wanted to write Dirk re-entering Todd's life after he goes missing. I haven't fully thought through what happened to Dirk, so I've left it deliberately vague. 
> 
> This was written while my neighbours are having a loud party and I'm in too much pain to sleep, so I would appreciate your comments if you do enjoy this - it would cheer me up! As ever, I can be found on [tumblr](http://hippocampers.tumblr.com/) and you can say hi there. Sending you all love <3


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